Monday, April 22, 2013 at 11:17AM 
Tricia (ranting about work): Ugh! I'm really upset with myself! I should have caught that error before now!!!
Morgan: Imagine yourself on the beach of a tropical island. All of a sudden, there is a puppy in your hands and his name is, "Worry".
You then throw him into the ocean.
Saturday, March 9, 2013 at 8:49AM
I have a hard time with yesterdays. I hold on to them too long. In fact, the farther away they are, the harder I hold on to them. Sometimes distance makes them seem clearer.
Maybe that's just a trick of the lights.
Occasionally I pull them out of the knapsack of my memory and read them out loud to people. "I remember when...", I say. Sometimes they are entertained. Often times they are bored.
Sometimes even I am bored.
Then, I wonder why I bothered to pull them out in the first place.
For the most part though, they are like precious gems. I take them out, turning them over and over, admiring them. Even giving them a quick polish before tucking them away.
Then there are the yesterdays I carry without even meaning to. Mostly those have to do with anger. Or sadness. Or pain. They stick to my legs and arms like damp sheets of paper and I can't shake them off.
"It is Samsara", Swati said. We were in India on the car ride from Kochi, back to the airport. It would be a four hour ride, but it wasn't bad. I liked Swati. We had a lot to talk about. "Do you know Samsara?" "Yes. It is the cycle of rebirth right? Creation is represented by Brahma, destruction by Shiva and sustenance by... I can never remember the God of sustenance." "Vishnu.", she said. "That's right, Vishnu!"
"You are right, Samsara represents life but it is also something we must practice every day. You wake up in the morning a blank slate. A new day has been created. Its possibilities are endless. You busy yourself throughout the day, sustaining it but at the end of that day it is important to destroy it. That way you make room to create something new the next day. If you hold on to the previous day it is difficult to create something new. When you're holding on to too many things, everything gets crowded. You need to let them go to make room for the possible."
"Whoa! That's deep. I never thought about it like that.", I said.
I imagined lighting fire to my yesterdays but hesitate because some of them are too precious. In fact, the car ride with Swati is a yesterday. I try to ignite the anger and sadness stuck to my legs and arms but they are damp and don't light very easily.
Maybe I'll start by destroying the boring ones.
Thursday, February 2, 2012 at 9:46AM 
My English teacher wife, thrust a piece of paper accusingly in my face. “Read this!” My eleven-year old son stood next to her beaming.
“What is it?”
“It’s the beginning paragraph of your son’s Persuasive Research Paper.”
“Oh.”, I said, pretending I knew what any of those words meant.
To begin, smoking is bad for your health. It can kill you! For some smart people, I could just say that and they would quit, but some people are too ignorant to stop so now I'm forced to throw a bunch of statistics at you.
I laughed. “This is FANTASTIC!” My son beamed even brighter.
“No it’s not. This is supposed to be a serious, persuasive paper, not The Franklin-Damn-Chronicles!” “I know!”, I said, “It’s BETTER than The Franklin Chronicles. So far, I’m persuaded.”
“Well,” Morgan interjected softly, “Mrs. Burries did say it should have a voice.” “Yes, it should have a voice, but not that kind of… You know what, this is YOUR son and this is YOUR fault. Fix it!”
She walked out of the room exasperated, mumbling under her breath.
When the coast was clear, and it was safe, Morgan and I hi-fived.
(Note to self: consider changing site name to "Franklin Damn Chronicles".)
Saturday, October 22, 2011 at 5:30AM 
“I know, right! Who buys pitchforks any more? Crazy.”, I said, starting to catch my breath.
“I think you’re missing the point...”, said Audwin.
“Anyway don’t you have a black belt in Karate? Why didn’t you use any of your moves on that horde of Mommybloggers that was trying to kill us?”
“First of all, I did. It was called ‘getting the hell out of dodge’. When outnumbered and outgunned, the wise warrior, knows when to bid a hasty retreat. Me and you against 150 angry women, armed with machetes, pitchforks and torches are not good odds.”
“One of them had a cannon too.”
“Really? I didn’t see that.”
“Yes.”
“Well, my point still stands. I think the lesson here is, posing as a Mommyblogger in order to earn a quick buck, is a bit exploitive, not to mention dangerous. Those Mommies are organized and vengeful.”
“Well let that be a lesson to you, since you’re the one who told me to pose as a Mommyblogger.”
“No I didn’t! I told you to... You know what that’s not important. I think the important thing is that we’ve learned that maybe you should focus on something that you’re good at.”
I stared back at him blankly.
“Helloooo?...”, he said searching for a response.
“I heard you. I’m just not sure how much money I can make by napping.”
Tuesday, October 11, 2011 at 5:12AM
My bewbs hurt.
At this point though, I’m not sure if it’s from PMS or from staying up all night, bewb-feeding my twin babies. Uffff!
Bewbs! Am I right?!
Speaking of the twins (the babies, not my twins, hahaha... that’s a little bewb humor), It really annoys me when people come and ask if one is a boy and one is the girl. Hell-ooo! They’re names are Avocado and October, so it’s obvi which is which!
That really gets my frilly little panties in a twist.
Anywho, I’m feeling way too bloated for yoga tonight. The thought of getting into downward-facing dog is unthinkable. I think I’ll just put Avo and Octo in the stroller and take Mr. Squiggles for an extra long walk in the park.
Mommyhood engage!
“Pffft! Selling out?!! Absotively! That’s the point. You’re the one who told me that if I’m ever going to fulfill my ambition of touring the world, wearing a suit made of iPads, I need to start a Mommyblog.”
“I never said...”
“And you were right. it was the best idea ever! Now all I have to do is sit back and wait for all that sweet, sweet, Mommyblogging cash to roll in.”
“First of all, I never told you to start a Mommyblog. And to be quite honest, I think you’re perpetrating a fraud. What I told you to do was make a plan, stick to it and... Are you even listening to what I’m saying?”
“Yes... No...
How many iPads do you think I’ll need for my iPad pants?”
