I am laying on the bed, staring absently at the ceiling. My wife is sitting on the edge of the bed with her laptop,
Me: Tricia.
Tricia: Yes.
Me: I was just wondering…
Tricia: Yes.
Me: …If you should give me a full body massage.
Tricia: Well let me tell you. That ain’t gonna happen.
Me (under my breath): What the hell [...]

I was singing The National Anthem.
Loudly.
Why? Because it’s the National freaking Anthem!
“Please stop.” My wife said. “I have a headache and you’re singing too loudly. You’re making it worse.” “Silly wife.” I said, “Once again you’re confusing singing loudly with blowin’. I wasn’t giving you a headache because clearly, I can blow!” “No you can’t.”, [...]

Even though I didn’t need to get up yet, I had to. It was 5:49 AM, time for my wife to get ready for school. In fact she was running a bit late. She tapped me on the leg, motioning for me to follow her to the bathroom while she got ready. That’s sort of [...]

I think I’ve mentioned before that my wife is not all that impressed with me. I’m sure at one point, before we we’re married she thought I was funny. But now, after eleven years, she looks at me as if to say, “What else can you do?” I just shrug my shoulders and say, “That’s [...]

Tricia: I don’t know if I like your blog. You’ve got everyone believing I’m just an evil haint.
Me: Well…
Tricia: Well what?
Me: (I shrug my shoulders, giving an, “if the shoe fits” kind of look)
Tricia: (Smack to the back of my head!)
Me: Ow! See!
Tricia: Whatever b*tch.