I was singing The National Anthem.

Loudly.

Why? Because it’s the National freaking Anthem!

“Please stop.” My wife said. “I have a headache and you’re singing too loudly. You’re making it worse.” “Silly wife.” I said, “Once again you’re confusing singing loudly with blowin’. I wasn’t giving you a headache because clearly, I can blow!” “No you can’t.”, she said rubbing her temples.

“Yes I can.”

“No. You can’t.” She said a bit more firmly.

“Yes I can. Listen… AND THE HOOOOOME! OF THE…BRAAAAAAAAVAAAAAH!!!”

She stared back at me blankly with her hand on her hip. “See. I told you I could blow and now…” She put her hand up haltingly, “I’m done with you.” She went back to making her sandwich.

I stood with my mouth open for a second before mumbling under my breath, “What the hell kinda sh*t is that? ‘I’m done with you.’ You can’t just stop me from talking by saying, ‘I’m done with you.’ I don’t know who you think you are. You’re not the boss of me…”

She glared at me.

I walked out of the kitchen.

All this will change when The Black President is elected.